But what if waiting is actually accomplishing much more than it seems? And what if that feeling of being out of control is actually the first step to letting go of things that were never mine to control anyway?
Waiting teaches me is to trust in God. There are so many Bible verses about people waiting expectantly for God- waiting for Him to act, to redeem, to save, to accomplish here and now. Yet we are also waiting on God in an eternal sense- I have to learn that when I trust God, it doesn't ultimately matter how He answers my here-and-now questions because His love both sustains me in this life, and nullifies death. So waiting is part of trusting in a love, power, and plan bigger than my own.
"Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies."
"Since ancient times no one has heard, no ear has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides you, who acts on behalf of those who wait for him."
I also believe that the stillness implied in waiting is necessary to leave room for God to be God- for me to rely on His ability in acknowledging my lack.
I see that I was never able to accomplish or provide what I want for myself on my own. If I can take five concrete, check-them-off-the-list- steps to get where I want to go, then I am self made. But this only works for things that I can remotely control. Which is very little. So when I am in a place of uncertainty I am forced into a position of humility before God. I acknowledge that I can barely see two feet in front of me-- nothing close to the panorama God sees. And when I can't ACT any longer- when there is nothing more I can DO to accomplish what I want, I give God room to do what only He can- and He gets all the glory, as He should. (Plus God is really keen on using things that "can't"- or "aren't" or are "weak" "foolish" and "despised". Kind of gives my "strengths" a reality check.)